It’s Wednesday. But an atypical Wednesday. I am halfway through my vacation in the Outerbanks (OBX), North Carolina. It’s about 6:26 pm. Today, I woke up a little after 8am to make breakfast for about 12 people and then spent most of the day at the beach. I once thought that I couldn’t do the beach for more than 2-3 days in a row but turns out, that isn’t the case. We (B and I and his group of friends) have been here since Saturday and each day the beach offers something different. Different views, different water temperature, different crowds, different vibes. I also have never experienced “beach house” living– wide verandas, outdoor lounge areas, outside showers and a backyard pool complete with a hot tub. It’s been new experiences all around for me. If I were at home, I would be finishing up work and heading home to figure out what’s for dinner and watch TV. I prefer this kind of week much better.
I feel like this was a much needed get-away, as I’ll be going back to work in less than a month. I’m not sure what next school year holds for me, and I’m trying not to think too much about it. My mother comes to visit next week and I’m looking forward to it. Ready to soak up what left of the summer. Here are some pictures of the week so far:
I’m excited to be putting my coloring book to some use again. Since purchasing it in January it’s been sitting in my apartment with half-completed wishes collecting dust. I’ve also started reading Issa Rae’s new(ish) bio, The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl. Now I’m reading two books simultaneously which is always hit or miss for me. Well, hope you’re enjoying your last week of July (the best month of all.) Gotta go enjoy the sunlight while it’s still here.
I’m already halfway through the summer “break” (when traditional schools are closed, unless they are in extended school year) and this has been a great time of waking up late, staying up even later, and doing whatever my heart desires. Most days it’s been cleaning, TOO much t.v., sitting poolside working on my tan, small decoration projects around the house, or planning trips. I have yet to post about the Chicago trip (it’s coming!), and this weekend I leave for a week-long beach trip. After that, my mom is coming to visit me in my big-girl apartment (sans roommate) for a couple of days from Florida. I’m geeked about a whole week of being steps away from water. Also, I get to hang out and get to know my boyfriend’s college friends, which we don’t see very often because they live near Richmond, VA.
I think this is the best summer I’ve had in awhile. A summer of part time working, but because I chose to, not because I had to. I have not had a summer “off” since I decided to go back to school 3 years ago. It’s hard getting used to not having anywhere to go in the mornings, and then doing that for about 6 weeks. I don’t know why I feel guilty about staying in bed until midday, or when I have a day of nothing on the To Do list. But I intend to keep sleeping in until I stop feeling guilty about it.🙂
Last year, I didn’t work on my birthday (which fell on a Friday) but I still had to wake up early Saturday to work. This year for the big 3-1, I enjoyed a Sunday picnic with friends on a vineyard in Southern, MD called Running Hare. And we played Scattegories. My ideal day; chicken, friends, board games and chilled wine. I don’t intend to work on my birthday ever again (if I can help it.)
The remainder of the summer is looking great, I have the next 2 weeks off and I intend to be present for them. I want to sign up for some technique dance classes. I have some more de-cluttering to do in my apartment (read: throw out paperwork.) I want to plan for a smooth transition back to work, at a new school with less support than I had my first year. I’m excited to see what population and new school team I will be a part of. I also want to soak up all my well-deserved time off before that countdown back to work. I may or may not get to do more writing until next month, but that’s only because I’m taking doing nothing very serious.
There’s still places to see. I haven’t traveled to Europe, Asia, or Africa. Have a lot more ground to cover.
2. There’s more new foods to try. Along with new places, come new cultures to consume. I’m ready to eat!
3. Someone depends on your smile. May be the least likely person; and your smile does something for them.
4. Your destiny hasn’t been fulfilled yet. Even on the lowest on low days, there’s still an assignment that can only be carried out by you.
5. There’s no one that can do things quite like you. You are really good at making a presentation, teaching, counseling, listening, planning, and making macaroni and cheese. Sure, these things have been done before. But, not quite the way you do them.
6. Each day is full of NEW. We are granted new opportunities, have the chance to try again at something we may have previously failed at. Try again, with more wisdom.
7. The days are not promised to you. We go to bed knowing we will wake up the next day, and the day after that and the day after that. Not always the case. Have to thank God for all the days, even Mondays.
There’s no shortcut through the hard stuff. So stop running from it.
-She (October 26, 2015)
The last 5 days of school/work have been the longest days. I’m trying to be patient and focus on the paperwork+packing I have to finish as I transition out of this school. But I’m so distractible and everyone is annoying me. It’s too nice to be inside!! It’s been a tough week to say the least. But it’s looking up.
Here’s what is currently rockin’ my world:
Last Saturday was the 5 year anniversary of GlobeTracer. I wasn’t compelled to do the handwritten letter I usually do. I didn’t want to force anything. 5 years is a great milestone, I am thankful.
Burning Questions: Why do I want to fast-forward so much? I have to learn how to feel and be in uncomfortable places. It’s not fun, but I don’t gain what I have to when I’m constantly thinking about tomorrow, or the fall. Or 2017. Or when I live somewhere else…
I’m ready to do life with him. Being apart and seeing each other only on the weekend is starting to get to me.
I got a new couch! It’s mine and it’s new and it’s firm. How does one break these things in?
About 2 weeks until Chicago!🙂 First trip of the summer.
Burning Questions: What if I’m not sure what I really want? How do I know when to trust what I want is really what is right?
I got a retirement plan. Talk about #adulting. In 30 years, I’ll be 60 years old? How????
I’ve only read 2 books this year so far, but this summer I’ll do better!
Now it’s your turn!!
Tell me what’s currently rockin’ your world!! If this is your first time here, please say hello!
If you’re a long time reader- what’s something you want to keep reading about on the blog? why?
Looking back in my archives of pictures in my inbox, I got some good laughs at some of the very bold things I did to my hair in my 20’s.
From the shortest hair-chop in 2010:
To my attempt at blonde:
That color did not go well, and I “warmed up” and darkened it the next morning.
I lived the motto: Hair is a silly thing! I found it so freeing, to cut my hair and live my life simply getting used to the face looking back at me: raccoon eyes, big forehead, burgeoning curls, and cheekbones. I discovered eyelash extensions in NYC could take my “minimal make up” look to the next level. I discovered that I had the most confidence the shorter my hair length was. It takes a strong woman to be bold. It takes a confident man to love on that woman, too.
I still find it fun to experiment, but guardedly now. My last cut has not been my favorite to date, but I’ve altered it to where I feel comfortable now. Summer beckons and I got more exciting things to worry think about. I’ve got risks to take in the area of employment, entrepreneurship, and advancing my talk therapy goals. I’ve got places to see, new foods to eat, couches to break-in, trips to plan, wines to try, outfits to arrange, posts to write, word to devour, celebrations to partake in, offers to decline, plans to make, promises to witness.
I’ve been recently thinking about how different my life would be if I had a child. Specifically, Am I really ready to give up my time?
I know that there are big unspeakable sacrifices to be made when one decides to bring life into this world. And I know that somehow, if I decide to take that step, I will gladly accept that challenge. But is it selfish to say otherwise, that I don’t want to fully and completely give up my time EVER? Does this somehow, make me a bad person? Not a “real” woman because I don’t want to be a mother?
No. As actress Joy Bryant eloquently points out in her essay defending her life decision:
Motherhood, in all its beautiful significance, is a job I do not want.
That doesn’t mean I don’t think I can handle it. That doesn’t mean I don’t admire and honor all the mothers in my life. It doesn’t mean I don’t have a special heart for the children I use my skills and training to service. It just means I can make a choice on what my purpose is going in this lifetime. And I shouldn’t have to defend it, but depending on the approach, I don’t mind engaging in the conversation.
I’m not sure what stance I take. I haven’t completely decided. These days, I’m not only fantasizing of the “fairy tale” of motherhood, but also of the habits I don’t want to change in my life. The sacrifices that are not in poems on Mother’s Day cards or very much talked about.
I like to sleep. I like to eat out excessively, I like to wake up when my body wakes me up on Saturdays. I like to work on my schedule. I like my weekends, and every second of free time that I can steal during the week. I like my life this way.
Speaking, writing, and living my truth. No apologies.
I was supposed to write this last night, but I was too lazy. It’s 8:33 AM on Wednesday. I’m looking forward to the weekend. After this weekend, there will be 16 days of school left. I can see the light!! So many countdowns/celebrations this month.
Globetracer turns 5 on June 11th. 5 years of blogging consistently feels great.
I’m thankful to have survived one school year working in a public school as an SLP. It has NOT been a walk in the park, but I’m thankful for some more experience under my belt.
I leave for Chicago in 30 days! It’s Bran and I’s yearly tradition to travel around Fourth of July. I am excited as I love Chicago and haven’t experienced it in summer in awhile.
I am also a month away from my birthday. No plans, as I’ll be coming back from Chicago that week. Birthday planning becomes tedious after awhile. I say this every year, and every year I break down and plan something as the day gets closer.
What are you looking forward to as the first day of summer beckons?