My thoughts from last Father’s Day…
“Of all the rocks upon which we build our lives, we are reminded today that family is the most important.” -President Barack Obama
Father’s Day was a day that usually went unnoticed in my house, as did in many households where a woman was commander-in-chief. Tomorrow, it might not be surprising that among expected trending words like #daddy, #father, and #dad, we might see #mom rise up in numbers as some self-proclaimed Super Moms get praise from their children or give themselves credit for raising their children all alone. Don’t you just love reading those? I want to wish myself a Happy Father’s Day ’cause I make miracles every…
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globetracer 
First, that smile on your face in the pic with your dad is amazing. And as you know you look just like him. 🙂
My parents divorced when I was a little kid. My dad moved to California. My dad was a great provider but wasn’t much of a communicator. He also had a bunch of other issues that I didn’t really understand until I became an adult. And what I also realized as an adult is that though as a kid I used to wish I had a two parent household I was actually better off the way things were.
If my parents had stuck it out or even if my dad had lived in the same city as me I think I would have suffered for it. And I’m not at all relating this to your experience but for me I think it was a gift in disguise that my dad wasn’t around on a daily basis. Sometimes people aren’t cut out to be good parents and my dad wasn’t a good parent.
It sounds like you are coming to terms with the relationship you have with your dad. And I’ll share this. I’m not at all a religious person. But there is a passage in the bible about honoring ‘thy mother and thy father’. Initially I thought it was saying to honor your parents just because they’re your parents. But as I’ve gotten older and thought about it I think that passage is really more about honoring and loving yourself. I think this because as we get older, whether our parents have been daily influences on us or not, we begin to see our parents in ourselves. In our behaviors, in our face, in how we see the world. So as that happens if we are holding resentments against our parents there is a danger that we will also begin to resent those parts of ourselves that are like our parents. Make sense?
Great post.
Awesome. It totally makes sense. I also hold that scripture to be true, and although I still hold my father to certain standards I think that for my own good it’s better that I’ve begun to expect nothing and appreciate everything. Because I can’t change anything otherwise. I can’t control what he does for me, when he calls me, when he’s not as attentive as I’d like. I don’t know how my father sleeps at night, but I can’t continue to dwell on the past hurts. They’ve shaped me, whether I can see it or not.
There’s more to look forward to in my future, with his presence or without it.
Thanks so much for sharing pieces of you.
“…I’ve begun to expect nothing and appreciate everything.”
I think that’s a good way to handle it.
[…] it’s Father’s Day, I penned a quick Thank You note to my mother. Because it felt […]