A couple of weeks ago, I sat at the bus stop on my way to school.
There was a white man with dark hair and glasses sitting on the bench. He smiled. I smiled (that generic hello, older adult smile). He looked to be in his late 50’s.
He initiated conversation. I responded.
He spoke with a strong accent and I was curious. He asked me where I was from. I told him to guess.
“Latin America.” BINGO.
He informed me he was from Italy, started his own company here. I don’t recall the details. He asked me if I liked Italian food.
“I love food period.”
WAIT.
Is this man coming on to me? Why must I be so paranoid? Why can’t an older man just be looking for a friend?
Conversation continued.
He told me all about the different types of lasagna’s from different parts of Italy. Not like in America, where lasagna just refers to a generic type and the only difference is what you stuff in it.
Would I like to try his food sometime?
“Ok.”
So I took Sam from Italy’s number. His last name was so long, I just took his first two letters. “El”
Maybe I should have taken his complete las name, to Google my paranoia away? Am I being too paranoid? What happened to following your gut instinct on someone’s trustworthiness? I don’t get the creep factor from this gentleman.
Sam from Italy lives in my neighborhood, so I have run into him about a handful of times already. Most recently, he was walking his dog Beba.
He seems like a nice grandfather figure. Am I being naive or should I ask him more personal questions when I see him like who he lives with, etc? And not take his dinner invitation, at least not alone?
What about the question of culture? Are we too paranoid in this American culture? Could a homemade dinner invitation mean something different in Italy than it does in America?
Feedback welcomed.
globetracer 
Under no circumstance does a man striking up general conversation with you constitute the face that he’s trying to spit game. HOWEVER!!! lol This man was definitely trying to find a new “dinner companion”. Old enough to be a grandpa figure or not, he saw you and he put his bid in. And I aint mad at him! You’re hot. People may disguise their motives but sometimes it takes a guy to read through the lines. I guess lifes just kinda hard all the way around huh? 🙂
There always seem to be a however. Sometimes it’s hard to make that judgment call. I was just thinking to myself, any man reading this would automatically READ BETWEEN THE LINES. I guess it’s safe to assume this man is not married, because I don’t think his wife would approve of me coming for dinner. lol There’s also a question of culture to consider here. Maybe in American culture an older man inviting you for a homecooked dinner means on thing, but who’s to say it means the same thing in Italy? I’m not trying to be naive here, I’m just considering that we might be a bit too paranoid in our culture.
Ok I can see ythat point. We (Americans) tend to operate with the “sleep with one eye open mentality” at all times. Even when something seems harmless we often have a voice speaking to us echoning “what’s their motive, FOR REAL?!!” Maybe that just goes to show how hard life really is? Even when someone says something as innocent as “you’re special” we jump straight to a analytical frame of mind to decipher if they were trying to be sarcastic or not. good read.
If your gut is telling you that something fishy is going on, then trust your gut. Another thing to consider is that women are always conditioned to be sweet and polite, even if a situation makes us uncomfortable. Maybe he is a nice guy and his intentions are harmless, but if this scenario is making chills run up and down your spine, then you don’t have to connect with him. Do only what you feel comfortable doing.
I’ve been in this situation before. I think old men can be hard to read. They are old enough to be nice grandfather figures. They’re also old enough to seem almost sweet. But Don’t let that get in the way of the fact that he’s probably chased plenty of tail in his life and may still be testing his capabilities. i don’t always think people are serial killers, but mostly guys (no matter what their age) have ulterior motives. I never give my number out and glad that you didn’t. Smart move taking his. I say if you do meet him for the first time bring someone. If you cant do that then he can make dinner and then bring it to the park where you can share it in public if the weather permits.
Very smart advice- the public option. Thanks for chiming in!
Girl, I would have to say that you are right to follow your gut. Unfortunately, there are some crazies in the world so you have to be cautious. But if you have seen this guy around in your hood and he feels like a decent person then he may just be needing some companionship. Your boy above it right — you are hot! so I wouldn’t put it past him wanting to chase some young fly tail. But I will say that my experience of Italians as a culture is that they are warm, spirited and community oriented people. The value they put on sharing a meal is so different from our “fast food” culture, so it doesn’t strike me as strange that he might want to share that with you. I am sure he could pick up that you too are a warm and open person and may just be drawn to your exquisite light. I would say follow that gut, but be cautious and maybe meet him at an Italian restaurant rather than going to his home. Or he can pack you a lunch and meet you at the park. You know what to do. Love ya!
I wonder what made him offer you dinner. Hmmm my spidey sense are telling me that you might want to proceed with caution.
I personally would not go, or I would ask if I could bring a friend. Soemtimes we feel safer in pairs of two.
Thank you all for your great feedback! Moral of the story: Listen to your gut! God gave it to you for a reason!