Things I want to tell my mom

I think that a most special relationship is one between mother and daughter. I’m always fascinated to read fiction books about mothers and daughters, I tear up when I see special moments on TV, or even in real life. I’m aware of all the complexities that exist between being mothered, having to alter that relationship when daughter becomes an adult, and then possibly daughter becoming caretaker down the road. It truly does come full circle.

My mom became a teenage mother without having had a nurturing mother herself. There is a long list of qualities and knowledge she didn’t have, or possess when she became a mother. I can list many things I wish my mother did better. No parent is perfect. Instead of highlighting things that cannot be changed, I’d rather tell my mother some things I think she did superbly well.

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Lisa Bonet and Zoe.

Mom, 

I accept you for who you are. I don’t blame you for anything that you may feel you could have done better in raising me because I think you did the best you could have done with what you were given. Thank you for sharing with me about your past, I know it’s not easy for you to talk about after all this time.

I feel very blessed to have such a spunky and open-minded mother. I don’t have to worry about being someone I’m not, for you to approve. If I wanted to spend my days writing a book on a Greek island, I know you would support me. If I was anti-marriage, you would say “I understand.” If I decided to only eat red meat during odd numbered years, you would just ask “Are you eating meat this year?” with no judgment. You don’t try to impose your views on me and I respect that.

I know that we live States away from each other and you lead a very busy working life. I wish you didn’t have to work so hard, and I have big goals in my professional life to ease your load. As long as I can help, I will do so with no lament.

Thank you for sending me to California and South Carolina during some summers and exposing me to life outside of New York City. Thank you for making Christmases special and taking care of the cats I always wanted but didn’t want to actually clean after. Thank you for simply being there. Thank you for not accepting sub-par penmanship on my homework. Thank you for sending me greeting cards for every occasion and even for no occasion. Thank you for giving me a chance against many odds. 

With Love,

your daughter.

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Things I want to tell my mom

What’s Rockin’ My World: Agosto

It’s the 8th month of the year! Wow… That means we are that much closer to the fall, then Thanksgiving…then we’ll be bidding farewell to 2017. This has been an unusual summer for me. It’s been actual uninterrupted time off, but no travel (sad face- #adultingforreal.) Instead, we put all our extra money towards the move. We’ve been in our condo for one month now, and we are pretty settled in. I love our space, and especially that it’s not my apartment or his, but it’s OURS.

My summer has been pretty low-key, and I am taking the time to get some depth projects up and going. The down side to having all this time is discipline. I try to put some intentions out for the week, so that I can have a list to check off at the end of each day. I am also a big fan of sleeping in, but waking up late (after 11am) makes me feel like I’m wasting the day. Pretty soon, I’ll have to start setting my alarm to get back into the groove of early mornings.

Here’s what else has been rockin’ my world:

Walter White

  • Binge-a-thon: After over a year of not watching, I’ve returned to Breaking Bad (up to Season 4 now.) I’ve also indulged in other shows like: Transparent (Amazon), The Keepers (Netflix crime-mystery drama,) and ratchet TV (Love and Hip-Hop Hollywood is back on.) I also finished Married at First Sight (and the Second Chances show) but I’m done watching that show for good, don’t know why it keeps getting renewed.
  • I am moving forward with the private practice on a part-time basis. Step by step and hoping to start seeing clients as early as September/October. #careergoals
  • On apps like “Let Go” daily, trying to finish decorating our apartment with things people don’t want anymore.
  • Cooking whenever I feel like and no apology when I don’t.
  • Looking for another part time job. If I go back to the schools, it will be on a part time basis only. It’s so freeing to have no ties, and scary at the same time.
  • Reading whenever I feel enthused. Finished one book so far this summer. Book review here.
  • I’m really thankful for having this time I know there may not be another summer like this, and for that reason alone I’m allowing myself to just be. #withoutjudgment
  • I still want to pierce my nose. Haven’t done it yet.

What’s Rockin’ Your August?

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What’s Rockin’ My World: Agosto

SHORTEST BOOK REVIEW EVER: THE MOTHERS

The Mothers book.jpg

This review contains no spoilers.

Author: Brit Bennett (@britrbennett)

Pages: 278

Gist: There are all types of mothers around us: church mothers, surrogate mothers, adopted mothers and biological mothers. This story set in a contemporary African American community in Southern California, and revolves around a young girl named Nadia Turner. The story doesn’t stay stuck on her, but it includes her community and how she evolves to a young woman in spite of betrayal, pain and suffering.

Best Lines: “In a way, subtle racism was worse because it made you feel crazy. You were always left wondering, was that actually racist? Had you just imagined it?”

“A tragic woman hooks into an ain’t-shit man, or worse, lets him hook into her.”

Recommend: Absolutely! It is a beautifully-written, sad story of a town not unlike one we may know or have heard of. The book felt real, the characters were interesting and I was invested. I probably should have read this faster than I did, but alas, I’m just glad to have added this book to my “DONE” pile.

SHORTEST BOOK REVIEW EVER: THE MOTHERS

Things I’m Passionate About: The Short List

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In no particular order:

10. The treatment and identification of children who speak dialects and other languages in the scope of special education.

9. The #BlackandMissing, including those young people forced into sex trafficking.

8. Writing a book/ Writing in General

7. Autism

6. Food and Cooking

5. Traveling off-the-beaten-path

4. Lack of diversity in providers of speech-language pathology services

3. Adoption

2. Family in the scope of mental health. My own commitment to self-care and self-awareness.

1. Books. But fiction is better. 🙂

And one more: cultivating and maintaining my friendships.

What are some things you are passionate about?

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Things I’m Passionate About: The Short List

Adjusting My Crown (5 Year Hair Journey)

Hair is a big deal to me. I’ve been natural for a bit over 10 years (which  means I don’t use perms in my hair) however sometimes I find it difficult to make drastic hair changes and try new styles without damaging my own natural curl pattern too much. I love short cuts. I especially love straight-hair pixie cuts (think Halle Berry.) It is very difficult to maintain these cuts when you’re not very good at styling your own hair and when you don’t have a perm. This is the shortest I’ve come to a straight short cut, a bob from 2011/2012.

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Circa April/May 2011/2012

I had a texturizer in my hair then, which is how I maintained the style with the least amount of effort on my behalf. The texturizer made it easier to straighten my hair and kept it straight in the humid summer. I miss that style but I decided to keep the real harsh chemicals away from my hair. I’m also very partial to short hair period, especially in the summer time.

I wanted to chronicle my hair since my move to the DMV area. It’s been 5 years that I’ve been in the area, beginning in DC for graduate school. Here’s my hair journey from 2012.

Aug 2012
Faux hawk AUGUST 2012

I got accepted into Howard University and that was THE NEWS of 2012 for me. I was starting graduate school at 27 years old on a fellowship and was moving out of New York for the first time in my adult life. A drastic cut was necessary. A new start required a freeing of myself, a detachment from who I was to make room for who I was to become.

feb 2013June 2013May 2013Nov 2013

Above was the growth in 2013 (February-November.) I survived my first year in graduate school, I visited the beautiful island of Haiti, I witnessed a good friend get married and I gained more confidence in my clinical and professional skills.

2014 brought graduation (YAY!) and at end of October/ early November, #ISwipedRight and meet my current boyfriend. I also covered my blonde highlights with black. 2014 was a great year.

September 2015 brought continued hair growth and the tried and true pony tail. The problem with long hair for me is my “go-to” is the ponytail. The ponytail is A) boring and B) forehead-licious.

By 2016 I needed something new. I also missed the courageous person who just walked into babershops, under the bewildered eyes of men and women, and got rid of her hair. I chopped, but not too much.

After the chop, I also needed some bold color.

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2017 has been a low key year in terms of hair. I’ve been focused more on better maintenance habits (namely more conditioning), and growing my hair out. I think I’m finally ready to grow out my hair without major cuts for at least 2 years. I’ve been inspired by this beautiful hair blogger named Jewellianna whose hair is envy-worthy. I learned about her channel when I was reading about how some guy cut inches of her hair off and she’s been recovering from that loss. Right now, my bob is growing out which means the back of my hair is shorter than the front. The back takes thee longest to grow out, but I’m patient. I also know I want to eventually either get some layers in my hair when I get more length in the back. For now, I’ve been enjoying my big hair through twist-outs and rods as well as occasional blow-outs. I’m excited for what’s next!

2017 July
July 2017

Thanks for joining me on the journey!

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Adjusting My Crown (5 Year Hair Journey)

I’m Nesting…

Hi you all lovely readers!! I’ve neglected to write in sometime, but I’m glad to see my page visits haven’t totally flatlined… Since my last day of work in a school-based setting (June 13th) I had searched and searched for apartments/townhomes/condos, packed and purged almost ALL of the paperwork I was carrying around since 2011 (finally!), signed a lease, and am ready for the next chapter. My boyfriend and I will be officially living together. We are moving to a new state. We have come a long way to get here. I feel blessed.

The glo’ up is real! Summer is officially here and I am ready to eat all the foods. I am ready to ride on some roller coasters, drink some wine, visit a new place, frolic in my bathing suit, and make plans for the next major trip. I am ready to celebrate 32! SO many great things to look forward to as I enjoy the summer off. I started this blog when I was turning 26! It’s been 6 awesome years, and so many accomplishments since then.

So, back to the title of this post. No, I’m not pregnant (as far as I know…) I was trying to find the word for the intense feeling you get when you move into a new place and you want everything clean, readied and perfect! I am in love with our new condo! It has nothing in it and it’s perfect. We are not officially moving until next weekend but my feeling is because it’s already paid for… I want to be there right now, every minute, every hour…even if it’s sleeping on an air bed, drinking out of red Solo cups with no Wi-fi. I want to make the place my home. There should be a word for that. What do you think?

Minimalism-the-less-that-owns-you.

Besides that, this move has really gotten me to start thinking about what I really want for our space. I want a minimalist space. Right now, I don’t have minimalist tendencies so this is the issue (I currently have a mental list of the things we NEED for our space.) We get a clean slate with a new place and I really, really want a Less is More attitude and feel. I’ve started listening to the Minimalists podcast to guide me. There are so many perks to embracing this lifestyle; spending less, focusing on more important things, getting on track with finances and saving…I’ll keep ya’ll updated on the status.

In the meantime, I wish ya’ll a happy Fourth!  Enjoy family, friends, and stay safe!

Cheers to new beginnings,

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I’m Nesting…