Happy New Years, lovely readers. I pray the holiday season was good to you. If it wasn’t, I’m believing that after you accept where you are right now, you will be alright. (*cue beat*… Alls my life I had to fight) How am I so sure? Because you survived all the past bad days/moments/situations. Was the past quite like this? Probably not. One day at a time. #babysteps
This is the time of year for resolutions, hopes, wishes and prayers. I stopped being a big “Resolution” person years ago. However, I do believe in telling the Universe what you want. Writing it down helps. Next January 2017, I hope to be thriving. I’m thriving now, but I’m also fighting. It’s a battle. Fighting to manage negative thoughts. Fighting to remember that I belong here. That I worked for this. That I deserve it. That there is more for me to do in this world! There’s more success and ceilings to break!
I’m managing in 2016. Haven’t been motivated to get fingers on a keyboard for anything other than Tweeting (haaaay boo! @TracitaLinda), browsing, reading, skimming, and work stuff. You know, what they pay me to do. Today, I found myself on Pinterest. I haven’t caught on to the craze of Pinterest, but I do like that you can find so many random musings/ideas/inspiration in one place. Upon browsing on Twitter’s endless lists of Simple things to make 2016 better that you will forget 5 minutes after reading I found a minimal, clean, list of resolve’s for 2016.
So much going on in life I don’t even know where to begin.
Weave went bye-bye. It lasted for 1 month and 9 days and I was very proud of myself. I am a person that loves to wash her hair so much and not being able to touch my scalp bothered me. That hair wash yesterday was so epic.
The weather has been pretty amazing (cooler mornings, warmer afternoons) but I know the colder temperatures are just around the corner. Time for coats to come from hibernation.
My job is going good so far. I enjoy working with children who have autism, they are all so very unique. It’s about to be a busy time this coming week with Quarter 1 ending. There’s progress reports to do, testing, meetings and therapy. Kind of hard not to day-dream about the holidays at this time.
In current event news, Sesame Street has a new muppet character with autism. Her name is Julia. This initiative was created as a resource for families with children who have autism, and a way to reduce the stigma associated with autism. Children with autism are more likely to be bullied at school and the videos on the website show real stories from real families.
I am going to visit a friend in Houston in 2 weeks! I’m super excited as it’s my first time visiting. What should I not miss eating or doing?
I go through my bouts of love and hate with social media. For the most part, I stay consistently on Twitter. But even with Twitter, if your favorite folks are not engaged with you…it can get kind of boring. I actually like to interact with people online. I haven’t decided when I’m going to fast from social media, but it’s looking like pretty soon.
I’m back to falling asleep on my couch. I don’t really rest when I sleep in my bedroom and I’m trying to figure out what that’s about.
I need to get back into talk therapy! Due to work conflict, I stopped attending the group therapy in September as well as individual therapy. It’s about time I start getting the care I need again.
Living alone has been pretty cool. I really cannot complain about it, and I can’t imagine going back to roommates again.
I am not confirmed for Costa Rica just yet this Christmas but I’m still making a countdown clock because it WILL happen. Stay tuned for more news in November.
Remember how I wanted this when I got my own apartment? Definitely gonna happen soon. I’m gonna rescue a kitten!
I feel like a different me. And now I look like a different me.
I can say confidently that I am happy with the recent changes that I’ve made in my life. The decision to change my job wasn’t one that I took lightly. It was something that was building up for some time, and with a new school year approaching, I couldn’t wait much longer to either stay or go. I couldn’t sacrifice my self-esteem and happiness for another year. What does happiness have to do with it?
Every thang, as far as I’m concerned. If you’re happy in your place of work, everyone wins. But time after time, people stay in positions they hate because…(insert excuse here).
One of the books I’m currently reading (All About Love) talks about happiness and work. “Doing a job you hate assaults your self-esteem” and although I love what I do and the families I service, I could not stand the COMPANY I worked for. The amount of work and extraness was something I was not prepared for. I felt like I was playing catch-up since I started. I didn’t trust the authenticity of the people I was around. I felt like the environment was superficial, my well-being was a concern only to the extent that it would affect the company negatively. One thing about me is I’m a perfectionist. I self-assess way too much. It’s a gift for employers and a curse for people who can’t shut their brains off about what they could have done better. Either way, the decision was final.
And I am here now. The roller coaster of events that followed (spearheaded by a bitter and disgruntled boss) were a test of managing anxiety, of keeping “dramatizations” in my head under control, and of reminding myself that I would get past this. That I wasn’t crazy for wanting more, and knowing I deserved better.
Now I’m on the over side of that mountain. But the “what if’s?” are still present. As I delve deeper and deeper into my new position, I am getting an opportunity to learn more and more about myself and I am learning that finding the “best” setting for me is going to take some time. If I have to keep finding different settings to see what fits, that’s okay too. Plenty of people in my field do it, because they can. I’m not apologizing for my happiness.
MOTS: Don’t sacrifice your happiness because you think you’ll disappoint someone.