Happy New Years, lovely readers. I pray the holiday season was good to you. If it wasn’t, I’m believing that after you accept where you are right now, you will be alright. (*cue beat*… Alls my life I had to fight) How am I so sure? Because you survived all the past bad days/moments/situations. Was the past quite like this? Probably not. One day at a time. #babysteps
This is the time of year for resolutions, hopes, wishes and prayers. I stopped being a big “Resolution” person years ago. However, I do believe in telling the Universe what you want. Writing it down helps. Next January 2017, I hope to be thriving. I’m thriving now, but I’m also fighting. It’s a battle. Fighting to manage negative thoughts. Fighting to remember that I belong here. That I worked for this. That I deserve it. That there is more for me to do in this world! There’s more success and ceilings to break!
I’m managing in 2016. Haven’t been motivated to get fingers on a keyboard for anything other than Tweeting (haaaay boo! @TracitaLinda), browsing, reading, skimming, and work stuff. You know, what they pay me to do. Today, I found myself on Pinterest. I haven’t caught on to the craze of Pinterest, but I do like that you can find so many random musings/ideas/inspiration in one place. Upon browsing on Twitter’s endless lists of Simple things to make 2016 better that you will forget 5 minutes after reading I found a minimal, clean, list of resolve’s for 2016.
My clinical fellowship is over. It was a bittersweet transition, but one that will probably shape the outlook on my career for the rest of my working days. Shit got real. But I made it!
I’ve been working as a licensed, certified speech language pathologist for 5 months now. Back in February, I recorded 3 videos as I went through the course of a typical day. I had recorded one in the morning when I first got in the car, but I can’t find the video. The second video shows me transitioning from one site to another site in the middle of the afternoon on a Wednesday. I arrived home after 7pm, and talked about how I would wind my day down in the last video.
The videos serve now as great time capsules, especially something for me to revisit a few more years down the road. For now, if you are interested in the field, or just want more information about what it’s like to be a speech language pathologist feel free to visit the American Speech-Language-Hearing Association website.
I feel like a different me. And now I look like a different me.
I can say confidently that I am happy with the recent changes that I’ve made in my life. The decision to change my job wasn’t one that I took lightly. It was something that was building up for some time, and with a new school year approaching, I couldn’t wait much longer to either stay or go. I couldn’t sacrifice my self-esteem and happiness for another year. What does happiness have to do with it?
Every thang, as far as I’m concerned. If you’re happy in your place of work, everyone wins. But time after time, people stay in positions they hate because…(insert excuse here).
One of the books I’m currently reading (All About Love) talks about happiness and work. “Doing a job you hate assaults your self-esteem” and although I love what I do and the families I service, I could not stand the COMPANY I worked for. The amount of work and extraness was something I was not prepared for. I felt like I was playing catch-up since I started. I didn’t trust the authenticity of the people I was around. I felt like the environment was superficial, my well-being was a concern only to the extent that it would affect the company negatively. One thing about me is I’m a perfectionist. I self-assess way too much. It’s a gift for employers and a curse for people who can’t shut their brains off about what they could have done better. Either way, the decision was final.
And I am here now. The roller coaster of events that followed (spearheaded by a bitter and disgruntled boss) were a test of managing anxiety, of keeping “dramatizations” in my head under control, and of reminding myself that I would get past this. That I wasn’t crazy for wanting more, and knowing I deserved better.
Now I’m on the over side of that mountain. But the “what if’s?” are still present. As I delve deeper and deeper into my new position, I am getting an opportunity to learn more and more about myself and I am learning that finding the “best” setting for me is going to take some time. If I have to keep finding different settings to see what fits, that’s okay too. Plenty of people in my field do it, because they can. I’m not apologizing for my happiness.
MOTS: Don’t sacrifice your happiness because you think you’ll disappoint someone.
Things I’m looking forward to the next couple of weeks…
18 days to JAMAICA! I got my bathing suits ready, and I hope to get a nice tanny-tan!
Getting the most use of my newly returned iPad! If you own an iPad, what are some of your favorite Apps for personal enjoyment?
I joined a social Kickball league! Mind you, I haven’t played kickball since HS…but I look forward to meeting new people and bonding over drinks after the games. ALSO, I got pounds to loose before summer time.
Shopping online for a birthday dress. I don’t have anywhere to go per se, but it’s nice to have a “birthday” goal. Facebook (I know, I’m getting off soon) keeps bringing up these ads from these cheap websites selling polyester dresses for like $10. It’s soooo tempting! But I’m afraid when I order something from there I’ll open the package and be highly upset and ready to return. Aren’t the dresses cute though?!
Summer graduates from kindergarten soon! I’m such a proud God-mommy!
2015 is the year of the Audibook (I use Audible, first book is FREE). I have been having trouble for a couple of months with finishing actual hard copy books, case in point, I am still trying to finish The Fault in Our Stars and I started reading that 6 months ago! Reading so exhausting. Anyways, I’m proud to report that since I spend a lot of time in the car, I began using Audible as my reading alternative. It was hard to stay focused and listen at first, but with some practice, I was breezing through books. Here’s my READ list so far since March!
This book is about de-cluttering my life, it was on sale and I thought I’d listen for some good tips on getting rid of some of my paperwork at home. It was totally worth it, it teaches you how to de-clutter each room of the house, right down to your refrigerator. Am I the only one who saves things until they absolutely go bad in the fridge?! I like that I can keep it and always go back and listen to it. They give “weekend” homework, which I think is great. Have I actually engaged in a de-cluttering project though? Nah. Soon come.
Just Mercy has been my favorite book so far! It’s a non-fiction book about a lawyer named Bryan Stevenson (currently an NYU law professor) who defends folk (adults and children) on death row living in the South. He interweaves so many cases throughout the book, and it’s so hard to think that’s what he does, day in and day out. God bless him and lawyers like him. Definitely one of my fave reads so far this year.
Cinder was a tough listen; 38 chapters long. It’s a fiction book, a new-age Cinderella story about a cyborg (half human, half robot) living in New Beijing. Although I was initially intrigued by the premise, the book dragged and I just wanted it to be done! If you like sci-fi, sure, it’s a nice idea but it didn’t have enough action for me.
32 Candles by Ernessa T. Carter (Fiction)
However, I am looking for more fiction books!
What are you currently reading? Any recommendations?