Happy New Years, lovely readers. I pray the holiday season was good to you. If it wasn’t, I’m believing that after you accept where you are right now, you will be alright. (*cue beat*… Alls my life I had to fight) How am I so sure? Because you survived all the past bad days/moments/situations. Was the past quite like this? Probably not. One day at a time. #babysteps
This is the time of year for resolutions, hopes, wishes and prayers. I stopped being a big “Resolution” person years ago. However, I do believe in telling the Universe what you want. Writing it down helps. Next January 2017, I hope to be thriving. I’m thriving now, but I’m also fighting. It’s a battle. Fighting to manage negative thoughts. Fighting to remember that I belong here. That I worked for this. That I deserve it. That there is more for me to do in this world! There’s more success and ceilings to break!
I’m managing in 2016. Haven’t been motivated to get fingers on a keyboard for anything other than Tweeting (haaaay boo! @TracitaLinda), browsing, reading, skimming, and work stuff. You know, what they pay me to do. Today, I found myself on Pinterest. I haven’t caught on to the craze of Pinterest, but I do like that you can find so many random musings/ideas/inspiration in one place. Upon browsing on Twitter’s endless lists of Simple things to make 2016 better that you will forget 5 minutes after reading I found a minimal, clean, list of resolve’s for 2016.
My clinical fellowship is over. It was a bittersweet transition, but one that will probably shape the outlook on my career for the rest of my working days. Shit got real. But I made it!
I’ve been working as a licensed, certified speech language pathologist for 5 months now. Back in February, I recorded 3 videos as I went through the course of a typical day. I had recorded one in the morning when I first got in the car, but I can’t find the video. The second video shows me transitioning from one site to another site in the middle of the afternoon on a Wednesday. I arrived home after 7pm, and talked about how I would wind my day down in the last video.
The videos serve now as great time capsules, especially something for me to revisit a few more years down the road. For now, if you are interested in the field, or just want more information about what it’s like to be a speech language pathologist feel free to visit the American Speech-Language-Hearing Association website.
I feel like a different me. And now I look like a different me.
I can say confidently that I am happy with the recent changes that I’ve made in my life. The decision to change my job wasn’t one that I took lightly. It was something that was building up for some time, and with a new school year approaching, I couldn’t wait much longer to either stay or go. I couldn’t sacrifice my self-esteem and happiness for another year. What does happiness have to do with it?
Every thang, as far as I’m concerned. If you’re happy in your place of work, everyone wins. But time after time, people stay in positions they hate because…(insert excuse here).
One of the books I’m currently reading (All About Love) talks about happiness and work. “Doing a job you hate assaults your self-esteem” and although I love what I do and the families I service, I could not stand the COMPANY I worked for. The amount of work and extraness was something I was not prepared for. I felt like I was playing catch-up since I started. I didn’t trust the authenticity of the people I was around. I felt like the environment was superficial, my well-being was a concern only to the extent that it would affect the company negatively. One thing about me is I’m a perfectionist. I self-assess way too much. It’s a gift for employers and a curse for people who can’t shut their brains off about what they could have done better. Either way, the decision was final.
And I am here now. The roller coaster of events that followed (spearheaded by a bitter and disgruntled boss) were a test of managing anxiety, of keeping “dramatizations” in my head under control, and of reminding myself that I would get past this. That I wasn’t crazy for wanting more, and knowing I deserved better.
Now I’m on the over side of that mountain. But the “what if’s?” are still present. As I delve deeper and deeper into my new position, I am getting an opportunity to learn more and more about myself and I am learning that finding the “best” setting for me is going to take some time. If I have to keep finding different settings to see what fits, that’s okay too. Plenty of people in my field do it, because they can. I’m not apologizing for my happiness.
MOTS: Don’t sacrifice your happiness because you think you’ll disappoint someone.
Things I’m looking forward to the next couple of weeks…
18 days to JAMAICA! I got my bathing suits ready, and I hope to get a nice tanny-tan!
Getting the most use of my newly returned iPad! If you own an iPad, what are some of your favorite Apps for personal enjoyment?
I joined a social Kickball league! Mind you, I haven’t played kickball since HS…but I look forward to meeting new people and bonding over drinks after the games. ALSO, I got pounds to loose before summer time.
Shopping online for a birthday dress. I don’t have anywhere to go per se, but it’s nice to have a “birthday” goal. Facebook (I know, I’m getting off soon) keeps bringing up these ads from these cheap websites selling polyester dresses for like $10. It’s soooo tempting! But I’m afraid when I order something from there I’ll open the package and be highly upset and ready to return. Aren’t the dresses cute though?!
Summer graduates from kindergarten soon! I’m such a proud God-mommy!
2015 is the year of the Audibook (I use Audible, first book is FREE). I have been having trouble for a couple of months with finishing actual hard copy books, case in point, I am still trying to finish The Fault in Our Stars and I started reading that 6 months ago! Reading so exhausting. Anyways, I’m proud to report that since I spend a lot of time in the car, I began using Audible as my reading alternative. It was hard to stay focused and listen at first, but with some practice, I was breezing through books. Here’s my READ list so far since March!
This book is about de-cluttering my life, it was on sale and I thought I’d listen for some good tips on getting rid of some of my paperwork at home. It was totally worth it, it teaches you how to de-clutter each room of the house, right down to your refrigerator. Am I the only one who saves things until they absolutely go bad in the fridge?! I like that I can keep it and always go back and listen to it. They give “weekend” homework, which I think is great. Have I actually engaged in a de-cluttering project though? Nah. Soon come.
Just Mercy has been my favorite book so far! It’s a non-fiction book about a lawyer named Bryan Stevenson (currently an NYU law professor) who defends folk (adults and children) on death row living in the South. He interweaves so many cases throughout the book, and it’s so hard to think that’s what he does, day in and day out. God bless him and lawyers like him. Definitely one of my fave reads so far this year.
Cinder was a tough listen; 38 chapters long. It’s a fiction book, a new-age Cinderella story about a cyborg (half human, half robot) living in New Beijing. Although I was initially intrigued by the premise, the book dragged and I just wanted it to be done! If you like sci-fi, sure, it’s a nice idea but it didn’t have enough action for me.
32 Candles by Ernessa T. Carter (Fiction)
However, I am looking for more fiction books!
What are you currently reading? Any recommendations?
I like my blog. It’s my space and I try to keep it honest and stress-free. When it comes to my “rules” for blogging: 1. I do it for myself first! and 2. Be Yourself. I don’t have rules about how often you should blog, a niche, quality content– I generally blog what I feel when I feel it and let the content speak for itself. I can’t put those restrictions on my writing, if I did, then I would just quit writing. Globetracer is going on 4 years old, and it’s probably my most longest commitment to writing consistently. Sure. I am like most writers; I have blank journals lying all around my apartment. However, I usually write on paper what I cannot share publicly. That tends to be short-lived. I am a believer that some things are sacred so I don’t blog about my romantic relationships. Not directly. Paper is where most of those angst-ridden emotions end up.
Sometimes I wish I had more to write about. I wish I had an awesome trip planned monthly. However, that’s not where I’m at right now and I’m trying to accept that. As sad as it is. I’m “adulting” right now, which means I’m learning how to live life contently working, paying bills, complaining, waking up early, eating out, having adult conversations and trying to find my happy place. Seems like if I could or wanted to write everyday, 98% of the content would be about work. And that would be boring. But that would be true. It’s where I’m at right now.
I’m still thankful. I have a handful of consistent readers, and even those who breeze through usually can connect to something I’ve blogged about. I love comments. I enjoy the “likes.” I like the community I’ve built here. I want to start finding more blogs to connect with, and I want to start doing more vlogs driving my car around the City. I have a passion for helping those soon-to-be-graduates in Speech Pathology with what lies ahead in their journey to full licensure. I also want to start opening more about mental health issues, including a new step stone, which includes a psychiatric evaluation happening this week. Lots of firsts. Lots of emotions. Lots of maturing to do. Lots of content to expose. Stay tuned.
This is it folks. 2014 is on its way out. With its highs and lows, its triumphs and its heartbreaks. There has been lots of heartbreak closing out 2014. Names of Black young men like Michael Brown, Eric Garner, Tamir Rice (as well as many others) and the fate of the men who took their lives have led to countless protests (big and small) all over the United States. Its hard to believe in humanity as we’ve witnessed the repeated disregard for life. Yes, Black Lives do matter but not to all who are charged with protecting ALL lives. That’s not been an easy truth to swallow.
And yet, we keep pushing. 2014 has been in three words: transitional, heartbreaking, and eye-opening. For the world at large, and for my world. The highlights of the year were my graduation from my Master’s program (Woot! Woot!) and my transitional journey from student to full time employee. I am more than halfway through my Clinical Fellowship now, and in a couple of months I will be fully licensed to practice in Speech Language Pathology. It’s ridiculous to think I’ve learned all I need to know in 9 months. But I’ve got a great foundation.
This year, I broke a heart and got mine broken. I was in a pretty low state from July-September as I dealt with managing a new job, moving into my first apartment, and trying to figure out my finances. I found a roommate to help relieve the stress of rent on my own. This year, I spent less time writing. I only wrote published 40 posts this year, as opposed to 63 in 2013. In January, I traveled abroad one time, to Bermuda. This year, I also passed my licensing exam (PRAXIS). I take the highs and the lows and can confidently proclaim 2014 was damn good to me. Toast to 2015, the year of New Traditions.
Here’s a recap of some of the highlights of 2014:
I went to Bermuda, a British isle in the middle of the Atlantic. I learned it’s cold as chit in January. I saw crystal caves, swam in a cave, drank, ate, wore flowers in my hair and boarded the scariest flight with the worst turbulence in my entire life. I also prayed I wouldn’t go missing in the Triangle. I risked my life for this trip.
I met someone at the end of January. Good ____ ensued.
Passed the Praxis in Speech Language Pathology. Read the story here.
Good ____ continued.
Hustled to finish my clinical hours. And these thoughts rattled the brain.
Obsessed with the search of #RelishaRudd. An 8 year old that went missing in Washington, D.C. while living in a homeless shelter. She has not been found (nor her remains) to date.
I made it to the finish line. Family came from all over to celebrate the milestone.
Hi lovelies! Another holiday season is here. 2015 is not too far behind. I have some days off coming up and I plan to do some traveling since I am entirely overdue. How are youuuuuuuuuu doing?! Yes, you! Whether you’re a returning guest or first time visitor…how are you today?! Counting down the days until the New Year? Thinking about the last couple of gifts to procure before Christmas? Getting your Resolutions in order? What are some of your traditions this time of year? Leave me a comment.
Well, December is usually a time of reflection for me. I just haven’t been in the blogging mood. Not to mention, I barely am in the mood to do the things I’m supposed to do. Regardless, here are some things that have been rocking my world recently:
If it caught your attention in the hashtag, I’ve recently began watching Game of Thrones. I’m up to Season 3. The show is as good as people say. I think it’s a solid show with an interesting plot but I usually cannot binge-watch because I’ve mastered the art of falling asleep on the hour-long episodes. I will say that I’ve become obsessed with: KHALESSI!
Daenerys Targaryen is so effortlessly beautiful and has a quiet strength about her. She is known as Khaleesi, which I think is a beautiful name and means “queen,” or wife of the “Khal” or king. She has become one of my favorite characters on the show. So have Ned Stark and Jon Snow. I’m so intrigued by the dialogues and vulgarity, and I see great potential for strong women characters so I’m sticking with this show. Season 5 begins really soon (January) so I will be taking advantage of the break to catch up!
I’ve been doing a lot of falling asleep sleeping on my couch. It just draws me in with its simple comfort. It’s a couch that sits 2 people comfortably and literally every time I watch something on it or eat and watch t.v. while sitting there, sleep creeps in and the couch kidnaps me until the next morning.
It’s been 5 months since I started working in my Clinical Fellowship. Each day I am a step closer to certification, however I can’t seem to focus on that now. I basically try to take it a step a time, because some days take all my strength and patience. There are however, those aha moments! I live for those. The moment that a student trusts you and avoidance behaviors that have been the norm are kept at bay or easier to manage, the moment a toddler goes from rarely imitating verbally to expressing himself with minimal prompting, the moment a parent offers to babysit children you don’t have yet. Those moments, my friend, reinforce my decision and make me proud to be the professional that specializes in nurturing language and encouraging functional communication, for all!
I’m really enjoying my personal group therapy/counseling as of late. The group recently acquired another member, and the dynamics are fresh and joyous. I am also attracted to this new member. He is physically attractive, however, my crush on him is more of the cerebral type. I like his innocence, and his untainted fervor for trying to find his way. When he opens his mouth, I imagine the masses flocking to him. I mostly attend group for the laughs and the stories but I’ve also been tackling how my attraction to this member may be affecting my motivation for going.
The holidays are hard. If I decided to stay in the area, I would be tackling them by myself. So travel is a must. I’m going to make it a point to go back to Costa Rica next Christmas. I’ve never spent Christmas there and I think it would be awesome to spend Christmas on a beach…
If you’re wondering about my roommate, we have been working out just fine! We are very different people (she has lots of girl friends and is very social; I’m a homebody, she has a flexible work schedule and I have a rigid one), and are in the apartment during different schedules. The key to any good relationship, in my opinion, is communication. I think our communication when we do share the same space has been very effective. I wouldn’t say we are “friends” per se but I do enjoy her thoughtfulness and concern about the “simple” things that make a house a home. She’s spruced up the apartment with her “signs” and plans to make the home a bit more cozy, and I’m okay with that.
I purchased this because a speech language pathologist has to travel with so much at times:
That is pretty much all that’s been rocking my world! What about you?! What’s rocking your world right now?