One Year: VLOG

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I’m 30 Today: VLOG

And blogging/vlogging on my birthday. I must really love this thing.

Happy Birthday to me!

She

Pushing, moving, working

Spring is moving in, and the mornings feel glorious now. I had to brighten up the blog around here, what do you think?

Even the rainy days are necessary and welcomed. Last night, the sky ominously turned shades of gray before the sun was officially to set. An orchestra of thunder paraded the sky. It was a scary sight to be driving around in, but when the rain came down, it reminded me of Costa Rica. It was one of those hard rain showers, that first fell as sloppy drops before they turned into uniform sheets of water. It felt as if the sky’s regrets came violently drop by drop.

The mood reminded of me of Carl Thomas’ Summer Rain song. It was wonderful opening my balcony door and listening to the sheets of rain coming down. I got to cool down my humid apartment with the wind coming in. I am missing home at this time, that very enigmatic concept of home. Except I’m not exactly sure what “home” I’m missing.

Home is whatever you want it to be, in my opinion. It can be a place, a feeling, family members, friends, food, good memories. Or a new tradition. New experience. A place you desire to be your home.

I’ve been living in this area for going on 3 years. Not quite sure it’s “home” yet. And maybe it’s not meant to be. It could be a transition to my next experience, the journey to finding my new traditions. I made some great memories here. Accomplished some great things. I got a second chance at a career, and I’m finishing my first year in the field come July. I’ve been in love. I’ve been in lust. I am in love. I made friends. Friends left the area. Classmates also stayed. It’s been crazy. I’ve had lows and highs, and I’ve also met some really memorable people. I’ve pushed, I’ve moved. I am working. I’m “adulting” with my own apartment (sorta), bills, car notes, federal loans. Man, the grind is real.

I’ve done some significant work on myself, addressing my mental health issues. Last week, I began taking anti-depressants. I’m giving it a shot for 5 weeks. This was not a small decision, but I made an adult decision about how I want to manage my current symptoms. To be honest it seems like I’ve barely grazed the surface on the amount of work that needs to be done.

But I’m no quitter. 🙂 Happy Spring!

What does home mean to you? Do you inhabit home right now?

She

Writing about Writing: How I Converse with My World

I like my blog. It’s my space and I try to keep it honest and stress-free. When it comes to my “rules” for blogging: 1. I do it for myself first! and 2. Be Yourself. I don’t have rules about how often you should blog, a niche, quality content– I generally blog what I feel when I feel it and let the content speak for itself. I can’t put those restrictions on my writing, if I did, then I would just quit writing. Globetracer is going on 4 years old, and it’s probably my most longest commitment to writing consistently. Sure. I am like most writers; I have blank journals lying all around my apartment. However, I usually write on paper what I cannot share publicly. That tends to be short-lived. I am a believer that some things are sacred so I don’t blog about my romantic relationships. Not directly. Paper is where most of those angst-ridden emotions end up.

Sometimes I wish I had more to write about. I wish I had an awesome trip planned monthly. However, that’s not where I’m at right now and I’m trying to accept that. As sad as it is. I’m “adulting” right now, which means I’m learning how to live life contently working, paying bills, complaining, waking up early, eating out, having adult conversations and trying to find my happy place. Seems like if I could or wanted to write everyday, 98% of the content would be about work. And that would be boring. But that would be true. It’s where I’m at right now.

I’m still thankful. I have a handful of consistent readers, and even those who breeze through usually can connect to something I’ve blogged about. I love comments. I enjoy the “likes.”  I like the community I’ve built here. I want to start finding more blogs to connect with, and I want to start doing more vlogs driving my car around the City. I have a passion for helping those soon-to-be-graduates in Speech Pathology with what lies ahead in their journey to full licensure. I also want to start opening more about mental health issues, including a new step stone, which includes a psychiatric evaluation happening this week. Lots of firsts. Lots of emotions. Lots of maturing to do. Lots of content to expose. Stay tuned.

Buckle up,

She