Hello There: What’s Rocking My World

What I’m thankful for:

• Life
• Forgiveness
• A heated home
• People who care
• People who show they care
• My mother
• Love
• Grace
• Sweaters
• Healing
• High boots
• Sleeping through the night
• Having insurance
• Sunsets
• Music, when I don’t have the words
• A space to call my own
• My thighs
• Fall television.
• You, for partaking in my thoughts.

What are you thankful for this month?

-She

Fear

I’m not writing the way I want to be, recently.

I am not free. I remember this feeling from when I was younger. I was 16 or 17 years old and I attended church at least 3 times a week (there’s Bible Study, choir rehearsal, church services.) Sunday services were at least 5 hours spent in church in one day alone. I attended an A.M.E. (African Methodist Episcopal) church where praise was lively and boisterous. My family didn’t grow up going to church. Well, my grandmother (the matriarch of my household) was a God-fearing woman but as the years went on, she stopped forcing her children and grandchildren to subscribe to her faith. When I attended the A.M.E church, I used to have a fear that my mother would see me vigorously praising in church and that she would drag me by the hair out of the building. Because our family wasn’t raised like that.

I used to have that thought a lot when I was in a church service. It was a youth church, so the adults would sit towards the rear of the church…and I would imagine when and how  I would be “yanked” out of the church. That fear never came true.

Fear is a common and popular sermon topic, it’s something I’m too familiar with– whether the threat was real or not. I always enjoy a good quote about battling “fears,” a good acronym, a helpful reminder on how faith should trump fear. Clever, but there is no step by step guide on how to conquer fears. Everyone’s road is unique.

Three decades on this Earth, and fear remains a personal battle. It’s fueled by doubt, the feelings of unworthiness, the unknown future. This is a big, bad, scary world. Sometimes, it’s easier to succumb to the thoughts. Some days are easier than others.

I’m in a mental prison…trying to free myself stone by stone.

-She

My Current Thoughts: As Expressed Through…

Twitter. Which seems to be like the only thing I have patience for.

9 days until graduation…so 9 tweets seem appropriate. +1 for good luck.

#1:

I've never had so much anxiety in an online class.

— GlobeTracer (@TracitaLinda) April 30, 2014

#2:

I put fruit in my wine. #fancy

— GlobeTracer (@TracitaLinda) April 27, 2014

#3:

Bring me food. And other stuff.

— GlobeTracer (@TracitaLinda) April 17, 2014

#4:

I drank. I cussed. I cried.

— GlobeTracer (@TracitaLinda) April 24, 2014

#5:

He walks with me.

— GlobeTracer (@TracitaLinda) April 23, 2014

#6:

Higher education can't be all Powerpoints. Just like my kids aren't engaged by worksheets, neither am I engaged by slides.

— GlobeTracer (@TracitaLinda) April 22, 2014

#7:

"Moon spilling in. And I wake up Alone."

— GlobeTracer (@TracitaLinda) April 22, 2014

#9:

STAY FOCUSED!

— GlobeTracer (@TracitaLinda) April 17, 2014

#10:

Senioritis is real.

— GlobeTracer (@TracitaLinda) April 14, 2014

What’s currently on your mind?

Follow me!

@TracitaLinda

What’s Rockin’ My World: Close to Graduation edition

• 24 days until graduation and then I can be like….
• Job searching season. Which includes my favorite things….Interviews. Except at this point in my life, it just seems like a formality. YA KNOW I GOT DA JOB!
• #RelishaRudd. I’ve been kind of obsessed over this case for the past month to be honest, following any Washington Post articles with insider information about her life and disappearance. I could dedicate a whole post to the shady details surrounding her disappearance, but it would all boil down to a list of questions. Have you been following? It’s the case of an 8 year old girl who was “taken” (allegedly, since some believe she was handed over by her mother) from a homeless shelter here in DC. Her alleged abductor was found a couple of weeks ago in a park, apparently he killed himself after he shot his wife dead a couple of weeks before. The question that’s left is where’s Relisha? The latest reports speculate that she may still be alive, and sold into sex-trafficking. What do you think happened to her?
• Spring time slowing moving in= I don’t want to sit in nobody’s classroom anymore.
• I am hardly in the mood to cook anymore and money’s running out.
• GOOD _______. (fill-in-the-blank)
• Another online STATISTICS class= death to all online classes.
• The end of this chapter is near. I’m paranoid that I’m going to be missing some requirement that won’t allow me to walk. Irrational fears because it ain’t happening!
• GOOD ________ . (fill-in-the-blank)
• The endless possibilities from here on out. Will I be brave enough to take them?
• Big hair.
• Cocktail dresses.

 

• Cherry Blossoms. A time of year that brings everybody into DC to witness Spring make its way in.
• I have the attention span of a 2 year old. #Distractions
• JETT, my baby. I have had my Jetta for almost 2 months now, so far, no complaints! We are ready to conquer summer!

Your turn. What’s rocking your world?