Things I want to tell my mom

I think that a most special relationship is one between mother and daughter. I’m always fascinated to read fiction books about mothers and daughters, I tear up when I see special moments on TV, or even in real life. I’m aware of all the complexities that exist between being mothered, having to alter that relationship when daughter becomes an adult, and then possibly daughter becoming caretaker down the road. It truly does come full circle.

My mom became a teenage mother without having had a nurturing mother herself. There is a long list of qualities and knowledge she didn’t have, or possess when she became a mother. I can list many things I wish my mother did better. No parent is perfect. Instead of highlighting things that cannot be changed, I’d rather tell my mother some things I think she did superbly well.

Lisa Bonet and Zoe.

Mom, 

I accept you for who you are. I don’t blame you for anything that you may feel you could have done better in raising me because I think you did the best you could have done with what you were given. Thank you for sharing with me about your past, I know it’s not easy for you to talk about after all this time.

I feel very blessed to have such a spunky and open-minded mother. I don’t have to worry about being someone I’m not, for you to approve. If I wanted to spend my days writing a book on a Greek island, I know you would support me. If I was anti-marriage, you would say “I understand.” If I decided to only eat red meat during odd numbered years, you would just ask “Are you eating meat this year?” with no judgment. You don’t try to impose your views on me and I respect that.

I know that we live States away from each other and you lead a very busy working life. I wish you didn’t have to work so hard, and I have big goals in my professional life to ease your load. As long as I can help, I will do so with no lament.

Thank you for sending me to California and South Carolina during some summers and exposing me to life outside of New York City. Thank you for making Christmases special and taking care of the cats I always wanted but didn’t want to actually clean after. Thank you for simply being there. Thank you for not accepting sub-par penmanship on my homework. Thank you for sending me greeting cards for every occasion and even for no occasion. Thank you for giving me a chance against many odds. 

With Love,

your daughter.

Life Hack Friday: Index Cards (VLOG)

I’m Nesting…

Hi you all lovely readers!! I’ve neglected to write in sometime, but I’m glad to see my page visits haven’t totally flatlined… Since my last day of work in a school-based setting (June 13th) I had searched and searched for apartments/townhomes/condos, packed and purged almost ALL of the paperwork I was carrying around since 2011 (finally!), signed a lease, and am ready for the next chapter. My boyfriend and I will be officially living together. We are moving to a new state. We have come a long way to get here. I feel blessed.

The glo’ up is real! Summer is officially here and I am ready to eat all the foods. I am ready to ride on some roller coasters, drink some wine, visit a new place, frolic in my bathing suit, and make plans for the next major trip. I am ready to celebrate 32! SO many great things to look forward to as I enjoy the summer off. I started this blog when I was turning 26! It’s been 6 awesome years, and so many accomplishments since then.

So, back to the title of this post. No, I’m not pregnant (as far as I know…) I was trying to find the word for the intense feeling you get when you move into a new place and you want everything clean, readied and perfect! I am in love with our new condo! It has nothing in it and it’s perfect. We are not officially moving until next weekend but my feeling is because it’s already paid for… I want to be there right now, every minute, every hour…even if it’s sleeping on an air bed, drinking out of red Solo cups with no Wi-fi. I want to make the place my home. There should be a word for that. What do you think?

Besides that, this move has really gotten me to start thinking about what I really want for our space. I want a minimalist space. Right now, I don’t have minimalist tendencies so this is the issue (I currently have a mental list of the things we NEED for our space.) We get a clean slate with a new place and I really, really want a Less is More attitude and feel. I’ve started listening to the Minimalists podcast to guide me. There are so many perks to embracing this lifestyle; spending less, focusing on more important things, getting on track with finances and saving…I’ll keep ya’ll updated on the status.

In the meantime, I wish ya’ll a happy Fourth!  Enjoy family, friends, and stay safe!

Cheers to new beginnings,

What’s Rockin’ My World: I’m here

This is my second post of the year (sad face, kind of.) That’s just the way it’s supposed to be, I imagine. I’m trying to get my life, ya’ll!

I didn’t plan it that way, but I am also very much about not forcing what is not coming organically. Writing is my happy place, not my deadlines and forced writing place. Occasionally, I did feel that nudge to get something down on paper, but I also don’t like writing just to write. I am very much about content, not just about post numbers. 2017 is bringing a lot of changes, and I’m both excited and ready. Here’s what’s been rockin’ my world thus far:

• In the tune of self-care, I have decided to cut down my work hours per week. I currently hold a full-time and part-time job, and I used to work 3 afternoons a week, but as of January I cut that down to 2 nights. Yes, I’ll miss the money but I really love having my Monday nights back.
• I am gearing up for the next physical move in life. I’m saying adios to the DMV! I’m hitting on 5 years in the area (come August), and I’m ready for something new! More details to come… #newcity2017
• I have to start DISCARDING stuff from my apartment. Namely my paperwork and things I’ve accumulated from graduate school. To prepare for this, I’m reading The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up (audiobook.) https://www.amazon.com/Life-Changing-Magic-Tidying-Decluttering-Organizing/dp/1607747308
• Speaking of books, I have a 6 book goal for 2017. That sounds like an elementary goal, but it’s realistic for me and I make no apologies for it. Work is the main thing that keeps me from leisure reading, and the other part has been that I “consume” a lot and have no desire to read outside of that. I’m working on it, because I do miss getting lost in books.
• Work is work. There’s peak high and low times, I’m currently about to hit the peak “pre-spring break” time. IEP meetings galore, therapy, testing and everything in-between happens crazily in the days leading up to spring break. This year, we have spring break a little bit later in the year, which means the weather will be getting nicer and hopefully we won’t have any crazy snow storms. I don’t mind the days off, I just don’t want to extend the school year past June 12^th! The good thing is when we come back from spring break, it’ll be almost May, a less-than 2 month countdown to the end of the school year.
• I want to pierce my nose. I have always liked nose piercings, but wasn’t sure how professional this “appeared.” I think nose piercings are more accepted now (even those septum piercings are very common) and so I’m going to go ahead and do it! #newpiercing2017
• I’m tired of working for other people, so I’m going to slowly and surely start my own contracting business. Nothing to it but to do it. This has been on my mind for almost a year, gotta set it in action!
• Love has found its way back to me. We are making it work with effort and transparency. I’m happy.

What’s currently rockin’ your world?

-She