Pushing, moving, working

Spring is here

Spring is moving in, and the mornings feel glorious now. I had to brighten up the blog around here, what do you think?

Even the rainy days are necessary and welcomed. Last night, the sky ominously turned shades of gray before the sun was officially to set. An orchestra of thunder paraded the sky. It was a scary sight to be driving around in, but when the rain came down, it reminded me of Costa Rica. It was one of those hard rain showers, that first fell as sloppy drops before they turned into uniform sheets of water. It felt as if the sky’s regrets came violently drop by drop.

The mood reminded of me of Carl Thomas’ Summer Rain song. It was wonderful opening my balcony door and listening to the sheets of rain coming down. I got to cool down my humid apartment with the wind coming in. I am missing home at this time, that very enigmatic concept of home. Except I’m not exactly sure what “home” I’m missing.

Home is whatever you want it to be, in my opinion. It can be a place, a feeling, family members, friends, food, good memories. Or a new tradition. New experience. A place you desire to be your home.

I’ve been living in this area for going on 3 years. Not quite sure it’s “home” yet. And maybe it’s not meant to be. It could be a transition to my next experience, the journey to finding my new traditions. I made some great memories here. Accomplished some great things. I got a second chance at a career, and I’m finishing my first year in the field come July. I’ve been in love. I’ve been in lust. I am in love. I made friends. Friends left the area. Classmates also stayed. It’s been crazy. I’ve had lows and highs, and I’ve also met some really memorable people. I’ve pushed, I’ve moved. I am working. I’m “adulting” with my own apartment (sorta), bills, car notes, federal loans. Man, the grind is real.

I’ve done some significant work on myself, addressing my mental health issues. Last week, I began taking anti-depressants. I’m giving it a shot for 5 weeks. This was not a small decision, but I made an adult decision about how I want to manage my current symptoms. To be honest it seems like I’ve barely grazed the surface on the amount of work that needs to be done.

But I’m no quitter. 🙂 Happy Spring!

What does home mean to you? Do you inhabit home right now?

She

Pushing, moving, working

5 Question Wednesday: Just Because

ImageQuestions gathered from random sites on this WWW.

1. What were you doing before you started this?

I’m in between finishing my homework for tomorrow and running out to grab some food because I’m starving!

2.What drives you every day?

The family I don’t have yet, my age (I’m getting ol!), and the fact that there’s more places I want to see before I leave this Earth.

3. How would you explain love to somebody who had never heard of it before?

This reminds me of the movie the 5th Element. The Element (woman) was created to save the world and then in the end she doesn’t want to because she’s like “I don’t know love…” and then Bruce Willis kisses her, finally, they go and make squishy in a horizontal time capsule. Sounds about right to me.

4. If you could be any age how old would you be?

This age, right now. 

5. Why were you given your name?

Story goes that Mami was watching American TV in Costa Rica. She heard of a male actor named Tracey and thought it would be perfect for her little girl. 

Play with me? Your turn!

-She

5 Question Wednesday: Just Because

The Beach Motivates Me

June’s Word of The Month is J-O-B. As many of you loyal readers may know, I have been on the job hunt. This week alone, I had 3 interviews and went to one job fair. Aren’t ya proud of me? 

Today I had my first group interview. It was unexpected and exciting at the same time. Along with 5 other candidates of different races and ages, I was vying for a spot as part-time assistant to the Human Resources department. The first mistake I made was being late. Uh-oh. I mean, I made the mistake of thinking since the job was in my neighborhood, I didn’t need extra time to get there. I didn’t intend on being late but nothing is more embarrassing than walking into a conference room with a panel of 3 interviewers, where people are already in the process of being asked questions, and having everyone in slow-motion look at you enter the room hereinafter label you as ‘the late girl.’ For the record, I was 5 minutes late. But the bottom line is LATE is LATE. Don’t be like me!

The aspect I liked about the group interview is that you got to size the other candidates up for yourself. Through their answers, I got to make mental notes of answers I liked (for future interviews) and be my own judge, as well as hope and pray the panel didn’t reuse a certain question I couldn’t find such an eloquent response to. Overall, I had some pretty smart competition. Definitely better qualified to work in accounting and other number matters. As the panel went around the room asking questions, I felt more relaxed, thank God they didn’t decide to ambush me as soon as I got in the room, although I did feel like it was gonna be harder for me to leave a lasting impression outside of my tardy arrival.

Finally, I answered 3-4 questions and then the panel asked each of us why we opted for a part-time job. One candidates answers (paraphrasing):

I like to keep busy, and I’m already working another part-time job. I believe in constant stimulation, I don’t like to sit around and do nothing. In fact, if someone asked me to go to the beach, I would tell them no. I would rather do something motivating.

Hmmm… go hard much? Now, mind you, I know there’s some people out there who might despise the beach specifically. But to say you would rather be working than do something leisurely? I’m not sure that’s the right way to go, nor how many people would honestly believe that. But for this particular candidate, it didn’t seem like she was being dishonest. I felt sorry for her.

The beach motivates me. Not because I love the build-up of sand in my crotch area if I decide to take a dip. Not even because I like to show off my hot bod and people-watch. 🙂 I like the beach because it represents a moment where you don’t have to think about the banal qualities of work, being on time, or deadlines. You go to the beach to be. And being for me, beats working any day.

The Beach Motivates Me

Blog Nugget: On Being Human

Just my little space where I get to share something I came across that made me think…

Humans have a tendency to want. We want everything, but we don’t know why we want it. Wealth, fame, prestige, those are important right? They make these little lives of ours meaningful, impactful. If we achieve them we will really matter. Sometimes we wake up in the morning and wonder, “What are we even doing here? What’s the point?” But then we remember, we are striving for success, we have goals, and achieving them, that, that is the point.

Read the rest of Marie’s story via Water the Roots

Here are some featured past nuggets:

Acceptance

Life Lessons

Good Morning

Blog Nugget: On Being Human