It’s May 19th. While I lay in my bed with my space heater on blast, I can’t help but mentally fast-forward to the summertime. I want the heat, I want the lazy days, I want the “summer projects.” There’s almost 30 days left in the school year. I’m experiencing burn out with the amount of work that’s left to do, to not only close out a school year, but also clean out the speech room. The school where I’m assigned is closing. Just about every morning goes like:
I don’t wanna get up.
I don’t wanna be at that building.
I don’t wanna see [redacted]’s face.
I don’t wanna do therapy.
I don’t wanna write notes.
I don’t wanna plan.
I don’t wanna test.
I don’t wanna type up a report. Or an IEP.
I’ll be so glad when June 21st gets here. I don’t want to rush summer, but it’s VERY. MUCH. NEEDED. When the case of “I don’t wanna’s” hit, I am also reminded that there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. This time shall pass. I try to focus on other things going on. Things that make me happy.
The thought of reading books.
Game of Thrones.
Food. And Drank. BBQ’s.
Making summer plans. Planning trips.
Thinking about what new positions to pursue. Actually searching and applying for them.
Spending time with Brandon. Traveling with him.
Cleaning out my home office, that has been in the same condition for 8 months.
Planning Book Chats. Writing.
The things that center me, the things I can do right from the comfort of my home. I try to remember that I can find some happiness in the simple things. That my home is a refuge, a safe place to lay down all my cares when I don’t want to deal with the world.